Hengameh’s Weblog

I went to the bed last night early but I couldn’t sleep. I thought I am nervous, so I tried to find something funny but I couldn’t again. I was wondering that how it is possible for a person like me can’t find any funny thing to think about it also how it is possible for someone like me can’t sleep as easy as the past. I know, maybe I am old. ha ha ha kidding.
Anyway, I decided to turn the light on and study a book. I don’t know why when I study a book I fall asleep so soon. Maybe because of my background, I mean the time of going school and studying by pushing my parents especially when I was at the secondary school.
I used to go to an Intelligent School (or some how) – a geed, professional school – in our city. Unfortunately I didn’t like my teachers except my mathematic teacher.
 
I didn’t like them because they just care about students whom they know their parents and they didn’t care about other students like me – noisy, energetic, non famous parents. When they were teaching us they just looked kindly at them and it seemed that others like me were hidden. I didn’t like their behavior and the way of their teaching. I was just an 11-year-old child and didn’t know that I have to try hard to show myself to them by hard working. Although I knew that they were getting to hate me because I was so lazy, noisy, clown student and always try to be out of our class, excuse of my sport – as a member of volleyball team.
So, they decided to call my parents and told them if I continue this way they will kick my ass and send me out of this “high method, perfect school”. My parents got to worry. They got angry with me without knowing anything they decided to push me to study more.
All the night I had to study till late and they were so happy that I listened to them and started to be a good student like the past – elementary school. But they were unaware that I didn’t study at my room and just sleeping so deep. I was just listened to my ugly teachers at class.
Last night I was thinking that I have learnt that if I want to go to sleep well without any blame for my behavior and nervousness I can take a book, open it and start to stare at a page to go to sleep. Not only last night but also all the night that I feel kind of insomnia it’s just enough to find a book and open it.

My friend, My dear friend passed away. As long as he was in come he slept forever to not see this cruel world.

God bless him. I will never see him. He won’t smile at us and I will never talk to him.

It is almost 3 months he left us without a word but every day – every damn day – I remember  him by an accisedent by a simple accident. sometimes I tell something to myself and when I attend to the sentence I get that it is his sentence, his words, his phrase.

Such a world, You never can guess what will happen. Who you will lose forever.